What they know—and you can learn
So this is why Beyonce and Kate Middleton always look so zen: Powerful people are happier because they feel more authentic, according to a new study published in the journal Psychological Science.
To reach that conclusion, investigators conducted online surveys in both the US and Israel. They found that dispositional power (feeling that you’re in control and have a level of power) predicted happiness. In fact, the link held up across several different facets of life, including an individual's career, relationship, and friendships.
So how do these pros balance power and happiness? The study showed that feeling powerful also makes you feel more authentic. Basically, being a big deal (or at least thinking you are) makes you more likely to be true to yourself. When you feel powerful, you’re less worried about the opinions and evaluations of others, says lead study author Yona Kifer, a doctoral candidate at Tel Aviv University. Essentially, you stop trying so hard to impress everyone.
Not planning to become a CEO or celebrity anytime soon? You don’t necessarily need to be in a position of power to reap the benefits. “In fact, perceived power may be more important than actual power,” Kifer says. Here, sneaky ways to score more authority in all areas of your life:
1.- De-Clutter Your Space. If your desk is looking like a scene from Hoarders, tidy it up for a boost of control. “When your desk is cluttered, that causes stress and makes us feel helpless, which is the opposite of perceived power,” says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD, author of A Happy You. For a quick fix, pick up a desk caddy and cord organizer. Then, add a few storage bins to your space, so that you can keep the less essential work out of view.
2.- Focus On What You Can Control. If you’re drowning in paperwork and feeling totally helpless during the week, take five minutes to think about how you’ll spend your next day off. Downton Abbey marathon? Brunch with your guy? “Focusing in on that sense of control, you’ll start to feel like you do have power that you were taking for granted,” Lombardo says.
3.- Be The Social Planner. Even if you’re generally the go-with-the-flow friend in your social circle, stepping up now and then can make you more satisfied with your friendships. Pick out the next happy hour spot, or sign you and your friends up for a new fitness class. “It allows you to have the power in terms of coming up with new ideas, and you get the chance to do things that you’re really interested in,” Lombardo says. That increases power and authenticity for a double happiness boost.
4.- Practice Speaking Up. Exuding authority at work requires some effort. To feel (and look!) more powerful, follow the lead of your outspoken peers. The key: Bring up a relevant point that you’re actually passionate about—like the results of a new project you’re working on—instead of just speaking to be heard. “That way, you’re exhibiting your power as well as being authentic," Lombardo says.
5.- Boss Him Around (A Little). In this research, feeling power in your bond was associated with happiness—but that doesn’t mean you have to call all the shots. Just having the control to suggest new things—like choosing a date spot or trying something extra-special in bed—can boost your perception of power in the relationship, Lombardo says.
6.-Own Up To Relationship Mistakes. Just as crucial: Taking responsibility for rough spots, no matter who is at fault. “When [we're] unhappy in a relationship, we often disempower ourselves by saying it’s all their fault or wishing he would do this or that," Lombardo says. Instead, focus on the one thing you can change—yourself. “Realize your role in the discontent and think of what you can do to change it.”
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